Holidays are often a difficult subject between parents, but they can also be an opportunity for support. Take advantage of what you as co-parents can do in order to make these times together go smoothly for the benefit of your children. As always, remember to discuss all upcoming major activities with the other parent before making any final decisions. If you do not feel comfortable discussing this with them directly, using the lawyers on both sides as mediators is another option you may want to consider.
One goal for both co-parents is usually to get half of the time with the children. However, some parents may feel more comfortable creating guidelines for the situation beforehand so that everyone knows the rules. For instance, everyone might agree to celebrate together with the children on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day while spending New Year’s Eve apart. If you are trying to keep your feelings out of the holiday celebration, try scheduling family gatherings for another day or week that is less important than December 25th but still significant meaningfully, such as a nearby birthday or the following Saturday.
However, for many families, it is difficult to completely separate holidays. If you both can’t stand each other under normal circumstances, it probably won’t be any easier during these special times with your children. Also, if you don’t have a good working relationship, things may not go well for the kids, either. After all, seeing both of their parents at their worst might feel worse than only seeing one.
When it comes to children, putting them first is always the best policy. You cannot expect your child to pick sides or give up one parent for another. If you try, that child may resent whoever “loses” and suffer greatly as a result. If you want help creating a parenting plan that works for everyone involved, especially your children, reach out to us here at Gandhi Selim Law. We would love to help you create a holiday plan that allows for everyone to enjoy.
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